I thought of this entry ages ago...but decided to wait till nearer the date before I post it up... and its difficult to write, with emotions building up each time i try to, even now...
清舅 left us on 23 July 2005... its traumatic to witness a loved one breathe his last, in such a painful way... 好心酸, 好心痛...
Am very close to my maternal uncles, especially 清舅 and 华舅. During childhood days, these 2 uncles would play hide-n-seek, block catching, lights-off-瞎眼猫, etc. with us 4 ninja turtles, bring us to our then-heaven, FunWorld @ Parkway, playgrounds, parks and so on. Then when we got older, we moved on to karaoke and mahjong. Whenever he's at my place, he would try to break my Minesweeper records. All of us could connect and bond with each other totally, despite the age gaps. He brought me to watch a movie when I was very young... Can't remember why I was deposited at my grandma's place and he wasn't working that day. Bought me a new dress and it was a 武打片 if I didn't remember wrongly. At the end of the day I fell sick and he took me to see doc.
Will never never forget the horrible Boxing Day 2002, when I brought Ah Ma up to my Woodlands flat... Was going through bad times at home then. When we reached my doorstep, 华舅 was the 1st to come to receive us. Was aware then, that 华舅 was in the know of the going-ons, so i was already feeling very relieved to see him. Then 清舅 stood up from where he was sitting and appeared right behind 华舅.. I totally burst into tears... didn't expect to see him at all but I was so so so glad that he was there too and that they were there for us and to take over the situation. This scene is deeply etched in my mind... kept replaying itself...
清舅 fell sick and was diagnosed with cancer in 2004. Was almost back to normal when he had a relapse. Went to visit him in the hospital as much as I can, almost everyday after work... Then it happened swiftly...
It was a 海葬... During 23 July last year, we were at Fisherman's Village... with a mug of beer and a burning cigarette on an empty seat. Will probably do the same every year..
清舅... 你好吗? 好想你.
4 comments:
I did lose a loved one too. Didn't get to see him breathed his last is one of my biggest regret in life.
Been 14 yrs, couldn't forget anything, the pain of losing him, the pills(10 over) each time he had to take with like ONLY 20 ml of water, the last sight at the wake, the blood water oozing out from his nose, the last time seeing him all healthy and happy.
Would still cry every time I vist his resting place. If there's next life, I want to meet him again, wanna tell him how much I love him and make sure God has given him a healthy heart this time.
Losing him make me cherish my dear family and friends more. Let's love & cherish the ones who's still with us.
StaRz
i can't remember where i heard this from but anyway....
"When is something really dead? When it is forgotten."
Well as long as your uncle is remembered, he will be alive in you. His thoughts and actions are already inherited in you.
Anyway my aunt passed away from cancer relaspe as well. I too didn't get to see her go. But i know it wasn't pretty scene. It feels like i wasn't there to share her pain thou i know it wouldn't really make a difference. Dun know how to describe that feeling but i agree with Xin then not being there i feel is worse than being there.
Mr Anything
Thanks Mr Anything... once again, dats a good one.. =)
Almost cried in office ha...
Thanx, Ms Starz, for sharing as well =p
i teared..u brought me back to e beautiful childhood we had..yes, i miss him lots too...xpecially when i see e 2 kids..can even feel e pain now when i am writing..wasn't even in time to see his last face..we did not make it tis year at F.V. due to e dengue..i told 清舅 why we ended up at my plc tt sat..i m sure he will noe..
舅。。我们都好。。你要保重。。
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