Emo-Roller Coaster Ride

I've been having one of the worst emo-roller coaster ride of my life recently, especially the past week.

Been thinking alot. Maybe waaay too much. More so, when I'm alone, facing 4 walls and only the TV was talking to me. Think about what? About my life ahead. my direction. things happening to and around me. 庸人自扰? Everyone, in a point in life, will feel lost and need directions in each of our own paths. Maybe my 29th year of existence is that point in my life.

I could be so emo, that I almost teared while sms-sing my mum in the train, while I was telling her about my sian-ness. The power of Mums. She later brought me to my fave steamboat restaurant. Thanks Ma.

This is a deep dark hole that I've fallen into and only myself can get myself out of it. Though I do need and appreciate the emotional support. I need real hugs too. I sincerely do not wish to affect anyone in anyway. Unfortunately, I already did. My emotions are ever leaking out so easily. Sorry. I will settle this myself, and not torture anyone anymore. Trust me, I am torturing myself much much more than anyone else.

I'm offered a very sweet and supportive solution... it is a huge step to take, I will be freed but with lots of ???s ahead... I have the very strong and important support...now I just need the just-do-it power...

Ramblings of a sleepless nite again.